I am a different person than who I was a month ago. Gross. I hate being that pretentious asshole that declares their self evolution. I seriously debated about writing this post, to be honest with you. Some things do need to be said, especially since this is a mental health blog. It is absolutely vital to discuss the hard stuff, and I want to open that dialogue.
Without betraying confidences, this past month has had a dark underlying theme of loss and grief. On the surface things have been fantastic: I started a work out routine that has transformed my life and that continues to make me into a better person every single day (more on that later), I took my daughter to her first ever concert and she loved it, I got a fucking car! (For the first time in YEARS, I have a set of wheels!)
But the other side of that coin is the polar opposite of those rosy moments. My family lost a dear person who had quite the struggle. One of the single closest people to me attempted suicide. They are getting proper treatment, now– but it is fair to say that I am a little shell shocked and I’m still processing everything. At times it has felt lonely and isolating to be dealing with so much. But that’s what friendship is for…
My god, I am so fucking grateful to the community of people in my life. I have rekindled old friendships and made many new friends and acquaintances. The crazy thing is, this tribe of people who sweat with me, and cheer me on are so conscientious and kind– they would literally give you the shirt off their backs. When I am having a bad day, they are the first to notice without my needing to say anything. They reach out and are motivational and amazingly supportive.
This past weekend, a bunch of us got together to help get some family/friends moved in to their new place. We just had the best time together, talking and laughing. Whenever one person is going through something, these people rally behind them and do everything they can to make their life just a little bit easier. It’s incredible and a blessing to witness.
I guess that is the whole point of why I decided to post today. Everyone has stuff going on. Everyone has challenges and hardships and pain and loss. Everyone. To me, it’s worth it to reach out and ask how people are doing. It’s worth it to try to bridge the gaps of communication and bring people together.
A lot of people tend to shut down emotionally when things get rough– they get sucked into this sort of black hole of loneliness. They’ll do their day-to-day stuff and projects but there is no texture to their life at that point. Y’know what I’m saying? So, while I may be that annoying friend who reaches out and asks if we are still on for our meeting today, or the party this weekend, or whatever it may be– just know it’s because I fucking love you.
Maybe that’s what more of this world needs to realize is that by building each other up and bringing out the best in people, we can continue to bring out the best in ourselves. If you’re tired and you need a break, take it. Self love is so fucking important, y’all– but don’t ever, ever, ever be afraid to keep going. Don’t lose that forward momentum. You are not alone.
More sooner than later (I promise!),
Remember to be kind to yourself and if you or someone close to you is in serious distress or simply needs to talk to someone, please call the national suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or text 741741.